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Stacy Yardley [: 00:00:09

Have you ever felt like life's relentless challenges were just too much to handle? What if I told you that the key to overcoming these obstacles lies in how you view them? In this episode, we're diving into the power of perseverance and how reframing difficult situations can transform your struggles into stepping stones for success. Stick around as we explore practical strategies for practicing perseverance, share personal insights, and uncover how shifting your perspective can make all the difference. Ready to turn your setbacks into comebacks? Let's get started. Welcome to life as a circus. So let's step into self mastery, where we explore the balancing act of unlocking your inner potential while navigating life's chaos. I'm Stacy Yardley, your host, a former circus showgirl turned transformational life coach. If you're juggling multiple roles or responsibilities and feeling like life is a circus, you are in the right place. Join me each week for captivating tales from my circus days and insights on realizing your dreams.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:01:22

Whether you're an entrepreneur, business owner, or an aspiring leader, this podcast is your guide to self mastery. So grab your top hat and let's step into the greatest show of all, the circus of life. Ready to embark on this transformative journey together? Let's begin. What many people may not know about the circus is the longstanding tradition held up by the clowns, that of getting pied in the face on your birthday. But not just any pie. Circus clown pies consist of shaving cream stacked high on a paper plate or in a tinfoil pie pan. They're also delivered at a time when you least expect it. 1 minute you're just doing your thing and then bam.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:02:12

You're pied in the face. Thankfully, this never happened to me personally, but it just so happens that this tradition was carried out on Tyrone on his birthday for the first time, and I was lucky enough to get photos of it going down in real time because this incident happened just before I got sick and had to take six weeks off to recover. I still hadn't had a chance to give Tyrone the photos. While things were initially tense upon my return to the show and finding out that he had gotten married, things eventually calmed down and we were back on speaking terms. I felt it was time to deliver the photos to him and wrote about it in my journal and what happened next. So after a long day, I came home and decided I needed to get those pictures to Tyrone. The ones of him getting pied because he did want them after all. And I felt like I really wanted to talk to him so I go to give him to him.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:03:14

And he wasn't home, so I came back home and me and Nicole did our chores that we needed to do. We also got an argument. Well, a disagreement, actually. And it was just going in circles. So finally I grabbed my keys and the pictures and walked out. And on the way out said, bye, I'll be back later. So I left and went to Tyrone's. I knocked on the door and he opened it, very surprised to see me.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:03:44

I gave him the pictures and he invited me in. So I thought, why not? I went in and he told me he was embarrassed because he was just thinking about me. And all of a sudden, knock, knock, knock. And there I was. He said it was weird. So we got to sort of reminiscing, and he couldn't help but mention how great we were. When we did the wild thing, I agreed and we talked some more. And then he said, I wonder what those lips still taste like? And he kissed me.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:04:20

I started to giggle, which for a few minutes rained on the parade. But after a few more minutes, Tyrone Taylor was at it again. He asked me how much I weighed today. I told him, guess. So he said, stand up. I did. And he felt me up and down and said, 128. And he was right.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:04:46

We sat down and I said, how'd you guess? That's it. I just guessed. He said, I wanted to feel you. You still feel great. I thanked him, and the next thing I knew, he grabbed me, pulled me close, and we were rolling on the bed. With passion. He brought back the ecstasy that was once between us. I can't believe it happened again with him.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:15

And that doesn't bother me so much as the fact that he's a married man makes it terrible. I know it wasn't really right. I should just say, I will never let that happen again. I can't. Even though it feels so good, I feel like shit right now. So I just need to tell myself I can't do it anymore. I just can't. That moment reinforced just how much my worth, at least in that environment, seemed to be tied to my body and my weight.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:52

It was everywhere, from the management's expectations to my own self consciousness to even the casual conversations I had with Tyrone. It felt inescapable. That turned out to be the last time we were together, as I did keep my promise to myself. Despite more invites to come see him, I was determined to move on, focusing on other things, like trying to lose weight. Things in general were starting to get even more intense as everything around me seemed to shift since the contract negotiations. One day, one of my fellow showgirls was even suddenly let go. She had missed a couple of weeks of performing as a result of having a minor heart attack. And even though she was cleared by the doctor and told she was in good health, she was let go under a clause in our contract that you couldn't miss a certain amount of shows.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:06:49

It came as a surprise to everyone and definitely created an atmosphere of discomfort and mistrust in our management with her leaving. This also meant that there was a single roomette that would now become available on our train car, and Nicole had first dibs on it, which of course meant that she would be moving out as my roommate and into her own room the next day. That's exactly what happened. And I turned to my journal once again to process how I was feeling. Things seemed to get worse and worse every day. So bad that if I didn't have a contract that I feel I have to fulfill for professional reasons, I would jumped this show in a second. It was also announced to the entire cast that the rules will now be enforced and that people will be fined for breaking them. The sad thing is, the more people are treated like dirt, the more people are really beginning to hate it here.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:07:54

There are so many thoughts and feelings running through me at the moment, I'm not sure what to do. My room isn't the same now. Nicole moved out last night. It feels very empty. I have a towel for curtains. Yeah, she even took those. I feel like there are some heavy changes going on and I don't know what to think or do anymore. I got stoned last night over at Bob Martin's house.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:08:22

He had a party. Very stoned, I'll add. It just made me think a lot. I feel like I have to get my life in order, my priorities straight. And obviously I'm here because I wanted badly to be here. I signed a contract and now, even at its worst, I must follow through with that same contract, no matter how hard or how depressing things get. So from now on, I'm going to try to be positive, be in the groove. As George the drummer would say, 1 minute I'm happy, the next I'm not.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:08:59

I just don't know. I just don't get it. I'm lonely. I know that. I'm just so tired of this place. I know I shouldn't be negative, but then again, here it's hard not to be negative. I mean, whatever. I just can't stand the way they do things around here.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:09:18

I feel so tired of feeling the way I do. Only 81 more days. I can hardly wait. I just hope I can make it that far without losing my mind. As the weeks continued to press on, we traveled up the California coastline towards the Pacific Northwest and my frustrations continued to grow towards the management, the lifestyle and the environment. The saving grace was that we were headed to Portland, Oregon next on the tour, and that meant visiting my BFF at college. I made arrangements to drive overland with another performer so that I could beat the train into town and spend a couple of days hanging out with my best friend before opening night. Upon arrival in Portland, I was dropped off at the Lewis and Clark College dorms to stay with my best friend Lisa for a few days.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:10:15

It was fun to get a taste of college life, attending one of Lisa's classes with her, as well as a couple of parties too. There was even a moment when we were walking into the grocery store and as we were walking up to enter, we noticed the weekly discount ad posted in the front window and my picture was on it on the front page promoting the circus being in town. We went inside laughing and Lisa wanted to grab a stack of them to hand out to her friends back at the dorms, so we did. Once again, I felt like a bit of a celebrity. It was a lot of fun. In fact, I had so much fun spending time with Lisa and hanging out at the college with her friends that I didn't want to leave. I ended up waiting until the last minute before I had to go back to the train. When we drove up to the train yard, I started to panic when I realized the train wasn't where it was supposed to be.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:11:14

Thankfully, it had just hooked up but hadn't yet pulled out of town and someone who worked at the train yard was able to take me back to the train. Once I got back on the train, reality once again set in. I was beginning to dislike the travel life and was frustrated that I had to say goodbye when I was really enjoying myself. I was back to feeling isolated and lonely as we headed north into Washington state. Then a few days later, I journaled about a moment of awareness that I had that helped put things into perspective at a time when I needed it the most. You know, it's funny, life that is. I've noticed that lately. I don't know why, I just have.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:07

I've noticed. I've been thinking a lot about stuff in everyday situations. I've been reminiscing about the past year and I've tried to look to the future, wondering what it's going to be like. And I've stopped a few times to look around at this place I'm in. The people, the lives, the politics in the circus, how it's everywhere, from the showgirl's dressing room to the animal tents. It's in the concessions, and it's in the clown alley everywhere. It's so weird. It's like there's so much going on, yet sometimes I don't even realize it.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:45

Then there are also the times when I really notice it and I'm really ready to go out of my mind. I recall a few days ago a situation that kind of lifted an eyebrow, I guess you could say, having all one show days this week and a normal weekend schedule. I was feeling a little blah about working. So it came to the end of one of the shows, and I was on top of my elephant. I was sitting comfortably on Mary while she was happily walking down the back track. And I looked down to the audience, and in an aisle about three or four steps up was a little blonde haired boy. I say he was probably about five or six. This little boy was watching the show with great amazement.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:13:36

He looked up at the elephant as though it was the greatest creature he'd ever seen, and it probably was. His eyes kept traveling upward until they met mine. Smiling at him, my heart melted as I waved to him, a very personal wave. He looked so surprised as his bottom lip dropped and relaxed with wonder. And his eyes suddenly lit up and his hand raised up but didn't quite wave because he seemed so surprised that I waved. We passed him and Mary went to the bull tub and we did the cross mount. But the whole time I thought about that little boy who seemed to be mesmerized by the costumes, lights, and the animals and performers. It seemed to make the show and all the work a little easier.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:14:26

And to tell you the truth, it's all worth it. When you see the face of a child like that, you forget about the politics. You forget about the Saturday morning weigh-ins, about the weak paycheck coming in a few days. You forget that you're so homesick it hurts for just a moment. You forget, you know, that you signed a piece of paper for a reason, because you love to perform, and you love the feeling of being looked up at on the elephant as though you were a queen and you were waving to one of the little peasants. It's a great feeling, and in the end, it's all worth it. Worth the look of that little blonde haired, blue eyed boy. It was a beautiful reminder that there was purpose in the pain and frustration I was feeling.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:15:17

And yet, even though I had all this awareness and ability to see the silver lining, there was still an undercurrent of discontent as the pressure to reach my show weight was continuing to build. I knew I needed to start working even harder to try to lose weight and keep it off. Because if things continued the way they were going, and the scale didn't say what they wanted it to say, I could be docked from performing and even worse, fired. When I think back to those difficult days, feeling alone, homesick, and weighed down by the expectations placed on me, I could have given up. I could have walked away from the circus, from the pressure, from the overwhelming emotions. But something inside me told me to keep going. Even when it felt like the last thing I wanted to do, perseverance became my lifeline. In those moments, I realized that pushing through the hardest times was what ultimately made me stronger and more capable of handling whatever came next.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:16:29

In the past couple of weeks, we've talked about the importance of taking time to pause, as well as knowing when it's time to pivot. But today I want to talk to you about how sometimes we simply need to dig deep and just persevere. Perseverance is the ability to keep going when everything inside of you wants to quit. It's that quiet, steady force that drives us forward when things seem and feel insurmountable. And if there's one thing I've learned from my time in the circus and since, it's that perseverance is the key to unlocking the best parts of ourselves, especially in the hardest moments. Growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens when we are pushed to our limit and choose to keep moving forward anyway. Perseverance teaches us resilience, but more importantly, it reveals to us what we're truly capable of.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:17:28

Every time I felt like I couldn't take another day of circus life, something told me to stay the course. I wanted to honor the commitment I'd made in signing the contract. In hindsight, I can see that sticking with it allowed me to grow into a stronger and more self aware person. During my hardest moments, whether it was the weight of the expectations or the loneliness of being away from home, there was always a lesson in continuing to show up day after day. And the truth is, perseverance isn't about winning every battle or feeling strong all the time. It's about refusing to give up, even when the path ahead is unclear. That's where growth happens. This is especially true if you're a business owner or an entrepreneur.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:18:21

If you've been in business for yourself for any length of time, you know that the journey is not linear. There will be highs and there will be lows, and so often you may even want to quit. But with grit and determination, you can persevere, especially in the hard times. Sometimes we think perseverance has to look like grand, heroic efforts. But most of the time, it's the small, quiet steps forward that matter most. When I was struggling to maintain my show weight or feeling homesick, it wasn't about making huge leaps of progress. It was about taking it day by day, pushing through the small moments of discomfort. These little victories add up over time and ultimately lead to big transformations.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:19:12

If you find yourself facing a difficult situation, ask yourself, what small step can I take today? You don't have to have everything figured out. You just have to keep moving, even if it's one inch at a time. One of the beautiful things about perseverance is that it often reveals a deeper purpose that we couldn't see before. When I was in the thick of it, with my challenges, with the circus, I didn't know what the purpose was of it all. I just knew I had to keep going. But as I look back, I can see how persevering through those hard times was more in alignment with my true purpose at the time, of connecting with others, bringing joy to audiences, and learning what I was capable of. In the face of adversity, your purpose doesn't always appear when things are easy. It often emerges through the struggles, through the act of continuing to press on, even when the outcome is uncertain.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:20:16

That's the power of perseverance. It turns adversity into purpose, challenges into opportunities and hardships into stepping stones. When we talk about perseverance, it's easy to imagine this heroic, unshakable force driving us forward. But in reality, it's hard, messy, and often feels like you're barely holding it all together. So what do you do when you know you need to keep going, but everything inside of you wants to quit? Here's a practical five step guide to help you in practicing perseverance, even when it feels impossible. One focus on your why. When you're struggling, take a moment to reconnect with your purpose. Ask yourself, why is this important to me? What's driving me to push forward? Sometimes the simple act of remembering your why, whether it's a personal goal, a loved one, or a deeper sense of fulfillment, can reignite your motivation.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:21:20

Write it down if you need to, keep it somewhere visible so that you can remind yourself why it's worth persevering even when it's hard. Two, break it down into small steps. One of the main reasons we struggle to persevere is because we look at the whole mountain ahead of us and feel overwhelmed. Instead, break the challenge down into bite sized pieces. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? Focus on just the next step, not the entire journey. It could be as small as getting out of bed and putting on your shoes, sending that one email, or making a five minute effort. Small steps still move you forward, and each one builds momentum. Three rest don't quit.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:22:18

Perseverance doesn't mean you have to push through without a break. Sometimes you need to rest and recharge so that you can keep going. Give yourself permission to pause, to breathe, to restore your energy. Rest is a part of the process. Just remember, resting isn't the same as quitting. Taking care of yourself is a necessary part of being able to continue. For more on the power of rest, check out episode 18. If you haven't yet, I'll link it in the show notes. Four celebrate small wins. One of the best ways to strengthen your perseverance muscle is to celebrate the small victories along the way.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:23:04

When you acknowledge the progress you're making, even if it feels tiny, you remind yourself that you're moving forward. It could be as simple as recognizing that you didn't give up today or that you just took one small step closer to your goal. These small wins give you the fuel to keep going. So take a moment to celebrate. Five ask for support. Perseverance doesn't mean doing it all on your own. Don't be afraid to lean on others when you're struggling. Whether it's asking for advice, venting your frustrations, or just having someone hold you accountable, having the support you need can make all the difference.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:23:47

Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and remind you of your strength, especially when you're feeling weak. Perseverance also doesn't mean that you never feel doubt or frustration. It means you don't let those feelings stop you. So I challenge you to reflect on something that you've been struggling with. Ask yourself, what would happen if I didn't give up? What if you took just one more step, even a small one, in the direction of your goal? As I continued to face the challenges and frustrations of life on the road, I realized that perseverance was my guiding light. Despite the pressures and setbacks, I had to keep moving forward. But perseverance isn't just about endurance, it's also about adapting and finding new ways to approach difficult situations. A key aspect of this is knowing how to change your perspective.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:24:52

When I was feeling overwhelmed by the circus environment, it was a moment with a little boy in the audience that helped me shift my perspective. Seeing his wonder and joy made me realize why I was there and what truly mattered. It reminded me that even in the midst of the struggle, there was a greater purpose and a reason to keep going. So how can you practice perseverance and change your perspective when you're struggling? Here are a few steps you can take. First, pause and reflect. When you're facing a challenge, take a moment to step back. Reflect on what the situation is teaching you and how you can grow from it. Next, shift your focus.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:25:41

Instead of concentrating on the difficulties, try focusing on what you can control and the positive aspects of your situation. This shift can help you see new possibilities and new opportunities. Next, find a purpose. Again, connect with why you started on this path in the first place. Revisit your goals and values to remind yourself of the bigger picture. Then, seek inspiration. Look for stories, quotes, or people who have overcome similar challenges. Their experiences can offer new perspectives and motivate you to keep going.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:26:21

And lastly, practice gratitude. Even in tough times, find something to be grateful for. Gratitude can shift your mindset and your energy and help you see the value in the journey. Changing your perspective can be a powerful tool in practicing perseverance. By reframing how you see your challenges, you can find new strength and motivation to push through, especially in difficult times. So as you reflect on a situation or challenge you're facing, remember these steps. Use them to reframe your perspective and strengthen your perseverance. Reconnect with your why break things down into small steps? Give yourself permission to rest.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:27:11

Celebrate every win no matter how small, and don't be afraid to ask for help. These are the tools that will help you push through when times get tough. And if you're looking for deeper support and building perseverance and resilience, I once again want to invite you to join the pure power posse membership. This is where we dive into these practices and help each other grow stronger together. The link is in the show notes. Lastly, remember in the circus of life, keep persevering and join me next week as I reveal what happens next, as the pressure builds to meet my show weight and the scale begins to work against me. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Life as a circus. So let's step into self mastery.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:28:04

I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to carry with you on your journey. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend and subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. Remember, in the circus of life, the greatest show is the one you create for yourself. Until next time, keep embracing your dreams and stepping into self mastery. Take care and I'll see you next Tuesday.