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Stacy Yardley [: 00:00:00

Have you ever thought about running away to join the circus? Did your parents ever joke about you running away and joining the circus? On today's episode, we're going to talk about when I decided to run away and join the circus. In the beginning, you're going to hear the story of what happened that prompted me to do so, and then we're going to dig a little deeper. So I think you're going to want to stick around to hear a little bit more. Welcome to Life is a circus. So let's step into self mastery, where we explore the balancing act of unlocking your inner potential while navigating life's chaos. I'm Stacy Yardley, your host, a former Circus showgirl turned transformational life coach. If you're juggling multiple roles or responsibilities and feeling like life is a circus, you are in the right place. Join me each week for captivating tales from my circus days and insights on realizing your dreams.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:01:03

Whether you're entrepreneur, business owner, or an aspiring leader, this podcast is your guide to self mastery. So grab your top hat, and let's step into the greatest show of all, the circus of life. Ready to embark on this a together? Let's begin. It was a typical hot, sunny Southern California day in the Yardley, and my friend had invited me to come over to spend the afternoon laying by the pool and, of course, work on my summer tan. I graduated with the class of 1988 just a month prior and was now living as a free spirit. So I put on my swimsuit, grabbed a towel, and headed out the door. I hopped in my car, which was a 1972 Mastery comet I had bought from a family member for a mere $500, and I fired her up. With a v eight engine, she had some get up and go is her, but she lacked luster with her peeling white vinyl roof and gray primer spots throughout her body.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:02:11

She didn't even have a car radio, so having a boom box on the front seat was the next best thing. As I headed down the road a out to the latest eighties hits, one of the songs ended, and the DJ's voice came on saying, are you 18 years a older and a dancer? Would you like to run away and join the circus? Well, it just so happens they're in town, and they're having auditions. If you're interested in learning more, call the radio station for details. I immediately thought, oh my god, I wanna do that. I had spent the majority of my childhood taking dance lessons, competing in local and regional dance competitions, and dreaming of one day becoming a professional dancer. In high school, I was on dance team, had solo performances in school shows, and had even attended community college dance classes while still in high school. While many of my friends were planning their college schedules for fall, I was uncertain of what my future held. I wasn't too excited about going into college to compile debt for a degree when I wasn't even sure what I wanted to major in.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:03:24

Not to mention, I wasn't the best at academia a it often bored me to sit into class, and I felt like I was being forced into a box where my free spirit didn't belong. As I approached my friend A place, I quickly parked the car and literally ran inside where my 2 closest friends, Debbie and Sarah, were waiting for me. Oh my god, Sarah. Can I use your phone? Okay. Sure. But why? She replied with curiosity. I just heard an ad on the radio about the circus coming to town, and they're having auditions, and they said to call the station for details. I totally wanna do it.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:04:07

I picked up the phone and dialed it with anticipation, hoping that the call would go through. As luck would have it, it did. I talked to the radio DJ, and he gave me details about the audition, and I scribbled it on a nearby pad. Then I hung up. Oh, my God, you guys. It's tomorrow at the sports arena. Well, are you a go? Asked Sarah. Yeah.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:04:35

I totally want to. With that, we headed out to the pool to work on our tans and talk about what we might do later that night is our main mission was just to enjoy our summer. As I lay poolside basking in the hot sun with baby oil all over my body and lemon juice in my hair to help lighten it up, my mind began to wander, and my heart began to dream. As I contemplated what it would be like, fear began to creep in. I questioned if I should really go to the audition. What if I wasn't good enough? What if I was just another number in the crowd? My only experience auditioning at this point had been for Disney a few months prior. I remember what that experience was like with dozens of dancers there a how stressful it was, and how eventually I was cut. I was so disappointed when I didn't make it.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:38

Hey, you guys. Do you think I should really go to that audition? I mean, do you think I'm good enough? Stace, you should totally go, my friend Debbie said. I'll go with you. That way, you can't back out of it. Really? Yes. Yeah, Stacy. You should go. You should at least try it and see what happens, my friend A added.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:06:02

Later that afternoon, I went home and told my mom is she arrived home from work. Mom, so I heard an ad on the radio about the circus being in town, and they're having auditions tomorrow. I think I'm gonna go, but I'm not sure if I should. That's exciting. Yes, you should go. It's an a, and you never know what could happen. What's the worst they could Stacy, no? Even though my mom and I are very different in a lot of ways, she always encouraged me to see life as an adventure, and this was no different. The next day, I woke up with great anticipation for what was ahead later that afternoon.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:06:42

With auditions being held at 5 PM, I had all day to obsess over what leotard to wear and began to wonder how many girls might be at the audition. What exactly would they be looking for? Do I have what it takes? So many questions filled my mind. I could barely eat that day. 1, because I was nervous, and 2, because I wanted to look and feel as thin as possible. I didn't want my stomach to bloat up at all since I would be wearing a leotard and tights. Later that afternoon, I drove to Debbie's house to pick her up and had butterflies in my belly, but also a bit of anxiety, not knowing what to expect. It was a short 20 minute drive to the San Diego sports a, where the show was set to perform later that night. Upon arrival, we entered the building, and the smells of circus lingered in the air as the concessions prepared popcorn and cotton candy.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:07:43

It didn't take long before we were directed to the arena floor where there was lots of activity happening. I noticed a few circus performers meandering around the borders of the 3 ring floor setup, including several clowns. Standing on a rubber mat in the center of the arena, I looked up at the empty seats surrounding us and imagined what it would be like to perform in front of thousands of people. It was at that moment that a surge of excitement and fear hit me all at once. Just then, we were greeted by a man who identified himself as the performance director, and he pointed out that clown college auditions were being held in ring 1 at one end of the arena, and showgirl auditions were held in ring 3 at the other end. The circus clowns had to go to clown college in order to perform with what they refer to as the big show. This circus was one of that all circus performers aspire to be a part of. After all, it was the most well known circus on earth.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:08:52

Turned out, my friend Debbie decided that she'd go partake in the clown auditions while I did mine. She didn't make it, and even if she had, I'm not sure she would have joined. But with her spunky spirit and contagious laughter, she would have made an awesome clown. As I set my dance bag down and walked over to ring 3 in my leotardine tights ready to give it my all, I handed my resume to the performance director, and the familiar nerves that came with performing with high standards and expectations began to rise within me. I decided to stretch out a bit and prepare my body to move and noticed it was just me and another young woman there also stretching out. Right away, I noticed that she was shorter a, by my calculations, much smaller and skinnier than me, which made me feel a little self conscious and worried that I would look too big and fat even though I wasn't. Like so many other women, body image was something I struggled with a lot. As we a to wait, we remained the only 2 women there that day to audition for a showgirl spot.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:10:07

This surprised me since this was San Diego, California where a plethora of dance talent resided. Knowing there was only 2 of us caused me to be especially nervous as I knew any mistakes I made while dancing would be very evident. There was no hiding at this point. As we stood there waiting for instructions, we were greeted by a woman who introduced herself as one of the choreographers for the show. She proceeded to put us through a series of dance combinations that included turns, kicks, and other dance moves that we would perform side by side throughout the audition. As we executed our moves, the choreographer, along with the performance director, and a couple of other lookers who hadn't identified themselves, watched a, and took notes. I told myself to act confident and stand tall, continuing to smile the whole time even though I was a bit uncertain if I was doing my moves well enough. With every step and arm movement I executed, I wondered if I really had what they could be looking for.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:11:16

I wanted this so badly as I imagined what it would be like to be chosen. The audition lasted about 20 minutes. And as we were finishing up, I noticed a reporter and his cameraman from a local television news station standing nearby. They were filming footage of the auditions to promote the show that would remain in town for the next several days. Before I knew it, the reporter was approaching me and asked if I would be willing to do a brief interview, live, right then and there. Of course, I had to say yes As we positioned ourselves in front of the camera and waited for the cue from the studio, the reporter fixed his tie, glanced at his notes while holding the microphone in front of him, and said, okay. Follow my lead. It was then that the cameraman began counting down with his hands, 5, 4, 3, 2, and then pointed to us.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:12

Suddenly, we were live, and the reporter proceeded to announce his whereabouts and promote opening night for the circus. He went on explaining how the auditions had just taken place and began to ask me questions. Would you seriously consider joining the circus, living on a train, traveling 10 months out of the year, all while riding elephants and dancing? Heck, yeah. I would. That would be so much fun, I said while smiling big for the camera. This was a huge opportunity for me a the first taste of being in the biggest spotlight I'd ever known. I was on TV and was being broadcasted live for 1,000 or maybe even 1,000,000 to see. I was so excited as energy surged through my body.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:13:01

I wanted more of it. Once the interview was over, the reporter thanked me, and I said goodbye to the show's performance director, who essentially said, thank you. We'll call you if we're interested. I was so excited that I had been on TV live that I couldn't wait to get home and tell my mom what had happened. Later, as I arrived home, I ran inside announcing, mom, mom, did you see it? Did you see me? Startled by my excitement, she asked, did I see what? The news, mom. I was on the news live from the circus audition. It was at that point that my mom realized that if they did indeed call to offer me a position, I would most certainly take it. I was so lit up with excitement at the very possibility of chasing my dream of a a professional dancer that nothing could stop me.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:13:56

Now, it was just a matter of time waiting and hoping for that call to come in, inviting me to join them. These are the words I wrote over a year ago as I contemplated turning my experience in the circus into a memoir. But as I continued writing, I realized I wanted this to be more of an interactive opportunity with you, to bring it back to real life and all the ways these lessons apply. So each week, I'm going to be here sharing with you my story and these real life a, but we're also going to bring them back to how they can apply to our real life right now. So in this next portion of our conversation called the dreamer's dilemma, we're going to actually take those pieces and talk about them a little more deeply. Let's face it. When it comes to going after your dreams, it's not easy. You have to face doubt, fear, and uncertainty.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:14:57

I was just 18 years old when I decided to go after my dream of being a professional dancer, but that doesn't mean at 28, 38, or 48 a beyond that I haven't had to face doubt, fear, and uncertainty with other dreams. If you've ever gone after a dream, you know what I'm talking about. Or maybe you're listening to this and currently doubting if you have what it takes to go after your own dreams. Perhaps your life is so crazy that you wonder how you can make ever make it work, so why even try? Or maybe you're thinking of giving up. The truth is, we all have to face these factors if we want to have a life worth living. Because when it comes to going after your dreams and desires, you will have to step outside of your comfort zone of playing it safe, and you will experience the discomfort that happens when you do so. But knowing that this is just the biology of being human, you can then empower yourself to override the fear and do it anyway, whatever it is for you. You feel the fear, and you do it anyway.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:16:07

And you do so by learning how to calm your nervous system in the process. Did I know this and understand this at the young age of 18? No. Of course not. But what I did know was that I wanted to make my dream a reality. And sometimes, by the sheer will of grit, determination, and perseverance, you can make things happen. It takes courage to risk failure or rejection, to venture into the unknown, and to follow your heart's desire, especially when your head may be trying to talk you out of it. And yet, when you take the steps toward those dreams and desires, that's when you find out who you really are and what you're truly capable of. When that voice inside your head generates fear and doubt, that's just your brain doing its job to keep you safe.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:16:57

I think, oftentimes, people think that in order to go after your dreams or build a business or pursue a passion, that you have to have it all figured out. But, really, it's about navigating the inner challenges that arise from within when you're pursuing ambitious goals and dreams. It doesn't mean you won't doubt yourself at times or that fear doesn't exist because the truth is that's just not really the case. However, it doesn't have to stop you. You can step into possibility through self mastery, and you do that through the power of making courageous choices. So now, let's talk a little bit more about what it looks like and how to take action through courageous choices. So, what was it that made me step into the possibility of joining the circus? I mean, a of people heard the open call for auditions, but only 2 of us showed up that day. What was it that set us apart? As I see it, it was making the choice to first have the courage to even dream of what might be possible.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:18:11

What about you? Have you given yourself the chance to dream, or do you shut yourself down at the first tinge of doubt and fear? You might be thinking to yourself, Yeah, Stacy. Actually, I have, and it didn't work out. And if that's the case, I understand. I know how hard it can be when your dreams fall down in mid flight. The circus wasn't the only dream I've pursued in my lifetime. Another dream I had once was to get married, have a baby, and live happily ever after. Thank you, Walt Disney. And, well, I did that.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:18:53

And Life so many other marriages, after 15 years, that dream one day turned into a nightmare, and I found myself getting divorced at age 40. Having to start over as a former stay at home mom suddenly raising my daughter on my own, I was terrified at how I was going to make it work. But then I found Zumba, and another dream seed was planted. I ended up watering that dream seed, and I founded and built a successful fitness business that had a great 5 year run a I had to step away for a few years due to burnout. The point is, if you're feeling like you're too old to dream a, or you've been knocked down too many times to count, I totally get it. It can be hard to muster up the courage to allow yourself to dream again when you know the pain of having it not work out. But here's the thing. Life is for living, And when we're pursuing our dreams, it generates a feeling of being alive and having a purpose.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:20:03

And when that doubt and fear begins to creep in, it's important to recognize that you always have the ability to suspend judgment. What would happen if for just a moment you stepped outside of judgment of your current situation or circumstances a even yourself, and instead of focusing on what you think may be standing in your way or the past, you a that part of you that is full of power and potential to step forward and look with hope and anticipation of what might be a? What would it be like to choose to lean into your heart and decide for yourself to go after whatever it is that lights up your soul? Having the courage to say yes to yourself simply for the sake of the experience, no matter the outcome, and choosing to look at the positive possibilities instead of focusing on the negatives is simply a matter of choice. Now, granted, I said it a, but not always easy. Going after your dream may mean making a choice to follow your own path despite societal expectations or even familial expectations and uncertainty about the future. It's about making brave, bold choices again and again and embracing the unknown in pursuit of fulfillment and self mastery. So let's talk now a little bit more about what you can do to step into self mastery with an opportunity to take action within what I'm calling the journey to mastery. When it comes to stepping into self mastery, making courageous choices to empower yourself is important. But what's also important is to be mindful of who you surround yourself with.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:21:56

You've You've probably heard the phrase that it's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys, and the truth is, it really does matter who you surround yourself with. When I heard the news that the audition was happening, it generated a spark within me. A dream seed was planted. I needed to suspend judgment for just a moment and lean into my heart to fan the spark into a flame, but my head also began to chatter as self doubt threatened to snuff it out. That's when it took some key people who were close to me in proximity to continue fanning the flame through encouragement and support. Then I was able to move through the insecurity of whether or not I should really take the leap and go for it. And while, yes, practicing self mastery is ultimately an inside job, it does help to have others around you to lift you up, encourage you, and empower you to step into your greatness. That's why I'm here with you right now so that I can be that person for you, especially if you don't have anyone in your life cheering you on or challenging you to face your fears and encouraging you to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:23:17

You are worthy of fulfilling your dreams, your purpose, and your passions. And much like my friend, Debbie, said she'd tag along with me to the audition that day, I'm here to walk alongside you as you grow in your journey to self mastery and realize your own dreams in the circus of life. Just remember that the road to self mastery is a journey, not a destination. And Life any other journey, there may be times when it gets hard, and that's when having support around you will be very important. And if you don't currently have it, reaching out and asking for support is part of learning how to master yourself and your life. Hiding in shame and being afraid to be vulnerable will only perpetuate the hard times and make you feel so much worse. But digging deep and stepping into your personal power with bravery and determination to connect with those around you, that's what makes you a resilient leader in your own life. Find a group of like minded people to network with.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:24:23

Join a membership, like the one I have called a Pure Power Posse, or even just start reaching out and connecting with others a on 1 who are also pursuing their dreams and doing their best to navigate the circus of life. It's important to take note that if you have people around you who are negative and naysayers, that you do not expect them to be the ones to lift you up and encourage you to step outside your status quo. Like crabs in a crab pot, when one tries to escape, the crabs in the pot will reach up and try to pull it back down to their level. It doesn't mean that you abandon your loved ones if they aren't supportive. It just means that you don't subject yourself to their opinion and feedback, or take it as truth of what's really possible for you. Because at the end of the day, it's about the belief you have in yourself and your own dreams that matters most. After all, it's your dream, not theirs. I was 18 years old when I decided to join the circus.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:25:33

I believe in the possibility of reaching for a dream. But even now, 35 years later, I'm still at it, dreaming and taking action by focusing on what's possible and what lights up my soul, like this podcast. And I want the same for you. What can you do this week to start moving towards your own dreams? Is it simply choosing to believe in yourself and what's possible? Is it reaching out to connect with someone? Or do you need to just take some courageous action and do the thing that you've been scared to do, even though you don't have it all figured out yet? I believe we were all made to create a life that we don't want to run away from, but rather run towards. A that causes us to feel more alive, fulfilled, and empowered. And we do it by stepping into self mastery through making courageous choices and traveling on this journey together. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Life is a Circus, though let's step into self mastery. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to carry with you on your journey.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:26:45

If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend and subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. Remember, in the circus of life, the greatest show is the one you create for yourself. Until next time, keep embracing your dreams and stepping into self mastery. Take care, and I'll see you next Tuesday.