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Stacy Yardley [: 00:00:09

Have you ever gone after a dream only to see it flash before your eyes and think, is this it? Is it already over? On today's episode, you're gonna hear a story of that very thing happening to me. Just when I thought I was achieving my dream, the threat of an ending was very real. Then we're gonna talk about 10 key elements to self mastery that can help you when things get hard. Are you ready? Let's dive in to Life is a circus. So let's step into self mastery, where we explore the balancing act of a your inner potential while navigating life's chaos. I'm Stacy Yardley, your host, a former circus showgirl turned transformational life coach. If you're juggling multiple roles or responsibilities and feeling like life is a circus, you are in the right place.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:01:12

Join me each week for captivating tales from my circus days and insights on realizing your dreams. Whether you're an entrepreneur, business owner, or an aspiring leader, this podcast is your guide to self mastery. So grab your top hat, and let's step into the greatest show of all, the circus of life. Ready to embark on this transform a together? Let's begin. Time in the circus is a weird thing. So much can happen in such a short amount of time, and circumstances can change in an instant. I was quickly learning this truth as I went to work on getting better at the Spanish web, but felt like I was running out of time when it came to mastering this aerial artistry. A week had gone by, and it was difficult for me.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:02:07

Being a dancer and not a trained gymnast, I didn't have the upper body strength to hold myself up, and I was afraid to fall. Here I was learning how to do an aerial act 30 feet in the air without a net, where a fall could be deadly, and it was terrifying. I had moments of intense pain and dealt with leg cramps as my body adjusted to new ways of being pushed. I was told it would get better, but I was starting to doubt myself. It was all just so new to me. And while I felt I was doing my best, it was quickly becoming apparent that it might not be good enough. I turned to my journal once again to document a critical turning point. Today had to be one of the worst days of my life.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:02:54

I thought my life as a showgirl was over. The man in charge of hiring and firing and the owner told me that because I can't do the web good enough, then I can't do the show. But they gave me the option to go to the blue show if I want. After a lot of crying and thinking about it, I knew I didn't want that because the blue show doesn't have the web, and they're on the second half of the tour. I wanna be on this show because it's Gunther's farewell tour, and we go to San Diego, my hometown. And I really wanna perform there for all of my friends and my family. So I went up to them, and I told them that I didn't like the fact that I wasn't even warned. I was just taken out, and I didn't even get a chance to prove that I can do it.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:03:41

It hurt so bad. So I called my mom, and she said she'd book me a flight for next Tuesday. I told them that when I talked to them. Then I was on the phone, and the performance director came up and said the owner wanted to see me. So I was told he thought about it, what I had said, and said that I could have until next Tuesday, one week. I have one week to prove myself to the circus and the owner. It's going to be so hard. I know that, but I'm prepared to put up a hell of a fight, and I won't give up.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:04:15

And if after I'm done doing my very best and they still can't use me, I'll go home. But like I said, I won't go down without a hell of a fight. I committed myself to do the work from that point forward and push through the pain and fear and do everything I could to stay on the show. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could, including myself. This is where having a stubborn streak can actually be an asset. A couple of days later, I was approached by Tina Gable, Gunther's daughter, who essentially grew up in the Circus, and she took me under her wing and began to coach me on my technique. Even her brother, Mark Oliver, and his girlfriend came by practice occasionally to offer tips as well. I was extremely nervous around them, but I was also incredibly grateful that they would go out of their way to help me.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:08

I was hoping this would work in my favor and get back to the owner, and I'd be allowed to stay. Within a couple of days, I was already making improvements and getting stronger, which gave me hope. And while my confidence was increasing, I also knew I couldn't let up because I had a long way to go in order to be approved to be in the opening act. I felt like I made progress today. In fact, Tina helped me out. She told me to climb the web and only do one leg now. I also did the splits up the web. I kinda bombed that one because I started to let my legs freak out a they shake.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:49

Anyway, I a fell out of it, and I felt like a fool. But I did do the knee hang, and it didn't hurt like last time. Hopefully, this will have a little impact on whether I stay or go. You know, like, Tina will like me, and they'll let me stay. I'm feeling a little stronger and confident about it now. I know there's still a hell of a way to go, though. As I continue to work towards my goal of being allowed to stay on the show, my desire to really make it work continued to grow as well. Well, I thought maybe there would be a part of me that wanted to just forget it and go home.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:06:30

But as of tonight, there's no way right now that I wanna go home. I really wanna get this web routine down, and I really wanna stay on the show. I want to do it just to prove I can. You know? I've had enough of this shit. I need to stay here. I don't wanna leave because I couldn't do it. At the same time I was going through all of this, I was also navigating some romantic interest on the show as well. But what's important to know is that the work Life balance was pretty much nonexistent at this point.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:07:00

If I wasn't working, I was trying to save myself from being sent home. Therefore, even though there were some sparks flying, I wasn't even sure if I was going to be allowed to stay on the show. Today went well at practice. No news from the big wigs, except Tina wants me to go up tomorrow during opening. I did the whole routine twice today. It felt so good. I really feel like I could do it and prove myself. The rush was so great.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:07:29

We'll see if they say anything tomorrow to me. Hopefully, it will be good news. So much was hanging in the balance. And then the valve of pressure was released, and everything changed in an instant. I went to work the next day and found out they wanted me to stay. I was so proud of myself when I found out they were going to let me stay on the show, not to mention really relieved. I had fought for my right to stay and push past the pain and fear that a me on that rope 30 feet in the air. And now, I was free to stay and continue living my dream.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:08:03

This story exemplifies several elements of self mastery as it showcases the journey towards achieving personal goals, overcoming obstacles, and growing both mentally and physically. Let's take a closer look now at the 10 key elements of self mastery that are present in the story and how you can begin implementing them in your own life. As I list these off, I'd like to invite you to take a mindful approach to your listening and ask yourself, how well are you currently practicing these elements in your own life right now when it comes to pursuing your dreams or simply maintaining the status quo in your work and career. Number 1, self discipline. Self discipline is your ability to manage yourself with the intent of achieving a goal. To successfully manage yourself, you must have self control and react to challenges constructively. Whether you're physically or emotionally uncomfortable, your self discipline is a skill that you use to keep yourself on track. Developing self discipline requires a combination of mental, emotional, and physical strategies.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:09:12

Understanding how your short term actions align with your long term objectives is vital. A strong vision can provide a motivation to stay disciplined as well. Visualizing your success and the positive outcomes it will bring Self you keep your focus. When it comes to performing the Spanish web, I committed to working hard to improve my skills, even when faced with the possibility of being sent home. Self discipline was required in my decision to work relentlessly to prove myself within a week. Number 2, persistence and determination. Despite the initial struggles and setbacks, I knew I needed to have persistence. When I decided to fight for my place to stay on the show, I refused to give up even when the situation seemed dire.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:10:00

And you may recall, I got to a point where I had enough and even spouted off in frustration and anger. Sometimes you need to get a little pissed off in order to make shit happen because that energy can then be redirected to get yourself into action. When I reached that moment, I knew it was time to dig my heels in and persist with grit. I was determined to stay on the show. When problems come to you, are you quick to look for ways out of is, or are you willing to dig in, dig deep, and push forward with determination and persistence? Number 3 is self reflection. When it comes to self mastery, self reflection is so important because in order to master yourself, you need to know yourself. Journaling is a great tool when it comes to self reflection, and it's something that I use myself and encourage my clients to use as well. During my time on the show, I frequently turned to my journal to reflect on my experiences, my emotions, and my progress.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:11:07

This type of self reflection helps you understand your current challenges and allows you to create a plan for your next steps. It can also be a great way to decompress hard emotions, giving you an healthier outlet for them rather than just maybe discharging them on someone else or allowing them to just fester inside of you. There's just something about putting a pen to paper and processing in this way that can really help you find more clarity and focus. Number 4 is courage and overcoming fear. When it comes to chasing your dreams or running a business, it's an absolute truth that you will come up face to face with fear at some point. Working on the aerial web routine required me to face physical fear and the risk of falling. I had to push through this fear, which required self mastery. And while constant pushing and striving can ultimately lead to burnout if you don't take time to rest and reset, sometimes pushing yourself to do the uncomfortable and hard things is the only way to get through the fear that is keeping you stuck and holding you back.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:18

So it's important to remember, sometimes you gotta push hard. Other times you gotta rest. Number 5, adaptability and openness to learning. Actualizing your dreams is never linear. There will be highs and lows throughout your journey, and your ability to adapt and learn as you travel can determine your ability to persevere and ultimately succeed. Sometimes, this may also mean having to learn new skills. I had to adapt to learning new physical demands of an aerial routine despite my background as a dancer and not being a gymnast. My background was a dancer and not being a gymnast.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:54

My willingness to learn from others like Tina Gable and her family showed my openness to new techniques and feedback. We must be willing to accept feedback and adapt to information that we are being given or taught if we wanna grow. Are you open to learning, or do you have an, oh, I already know that mindset when it comes to learning new things in your field of work? Number 6, self confidence and a positive mindset. Here's the thing to understand about self confidence. If you don't have it, you can build it. But you have to be willing to do the things that will help you build it a stay positive while doing them. It's very important. As I practice the web, I progressed in my ability to do is.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:13:46

And as a result, my self confidence grew. Having a positive mindset that I was going to make it work was crucial in my journey as it fueled my determination and helped me to believe in my capability to succeed. How are you looking at your challenges or your adversities? Are you telling yourself that you can't do it or that you can? Are you staying focused on building upon your abilities and skills or working against yourself by focusing on your lack of abilities or what you can't do yet? Number 7, setting and achieving goals. Self mastery is about personal growth. It's what helps us reach new heights and achieve bigger and better things or experiences for ourselves. And in order to grow, you have to know what you're wanting to grow into or where you're heading. This is where setting and achieving goals comes in. When it came to the web, I set a clear goal for myself to master that web routine within a week and secure my place on the show.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:14:54

I broke this goal down into manageable steps, tracked my progress, and celebrated my small victories. Regularly reminding yourself of the benefits of achieving your goals is important. This helps to reinforce the growth process as you continue to strive for greatness. And don't forget to celebrate. It tells your mind that something good just happened, and you wanna feel good. Number 8, emotional resilience. This is a big one. As humans, we are emotional beings.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:15:28

And if you're an empath or a sensitive soul, it can seem as though you're even more emotional than the average person. And when it comes to chasing your dreams or running a business or simply navigating the circus of life, emotions can definitely run the gamut. And when they do, it can be really easy to get sucked in and allow them to dictate or direct the experience you're having. Just a week into living my dream, I was experiencing emotional highs and lows, from the fear of being sent home to the joy of mastering the routine. My ability to navigate these emotions and continue working towards my goal demonstrated emotional resilience. How are you doing when it comes to navigating the highs and lows of the emotional roller in your life? If you find yourself drained of energy or feeling worn out, there's a good chance that you may be allowing your emotions to run the show. Stepping into self mastery means stepping into emotional awareness and making conscious decisions on how to move forward in spite of the way that you feel sometimes. Number 9, self advocacy.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:16:37

If you're someone who's struggled with people pleasing, this one can be a hard one for you is it can generate some fear of how someone might react if you stand up for yourself or advocate for yourself. Self advocacy is the ability to communicate what your needs are and ask for what you want. This may be harder for some than others based on your tendencies to forego your own wants and needs and desires, a to make others happy, or so as not to, quote, cause a problem. At 18 years old, I was determined to be heard when I was met with the threat of my dream dissolving before my eyes. So I stood up for myself by speaking to the management about my situation, advocating for an opportunity to prove my abilities instead of being dismissed without a chance. Oftentimes, advocating for ourselves can be scary because we may not be met with acceptance or compliance, but it's important to weigh out the cost of not advocating for yourself sometimes because there's typically more to gain than there is to lose by speaking up for yourself. Do you stand up for yourself? Do you advocate for your company or your services or a project that you're working on, or do you simply just roll over the first sign of resistance and feel like you're just not worth fighting for? Number 10, balancing multiple aspects of life. While the story mainly focuses on my professional struggle, there is some complexity of managing my personal relationships and professional commitments simultaneously.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:18:16

I made attempts to navigate these different aspects of my life, although the balance can be challenging when in crisis. Finding a better balance between work and life is important, especially when it comes to preventing burnout. But it's also important to remember that there will be times when things do seem a bit more off balanced because of the situation calls for a, and that's okay. This doesn't give us a free pass to make everything a crisis or drive hard towards burnout, but rather to measure the impact of temporary imbalance and ask ourselves if it's a price we're willing to pay short term for a long term gain. Having good boundaries, being able to say no to others, as well as knowing your limits and adhering to them is critical when it comes to work life balance. Overall, the story of conquering the Spanish web is a testament to the power of self mastery and achieving personal and professional growth. These ten elements we talked about today can help you in your journey to self mastery as you continue to work towards your dreams and move through the circus of life. So how did you do? Are there areas that you're noticing need a little more attention? Sometimes working on this stuff and going it alone can be hard, especially when those emotions are in constant flux and you're moving through some rough terrain.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:19:43

I get it. This is why I created my membership called the Pure Power Posse. In this membership community, we focus on setting and achieving goals and moving through the barriers that get in our way through hot seat coaching and building skills of self mastery. If I've learned anything along my journey, it's a traveling in this treacherous road together and having others hold you accountable is well as support you and cheer you on is far better than going is alone. The doors of this community are opening soon. So if you're interested in getting on the wait list, I'll put a link in the show notes so you can sign up to be a of the first to know. Lastly, I'd like to remind you that when you're practicing more courage and advocating for yourself or taking time to reflect on how much you're allowing your emotions to dictate whether you push through or give up, you're here, and you're doing the work to step into self mastery. And that is something to celebrate.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:20:46

Thank you for joining me on this episode of Life is a Circus, so let's step into self mastery. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to carry with you on your journey. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend and subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. Remember, in the circus of life, the greatest show is the one you create for yourself. Until next time, keep embracing your dreams and stepping into self mastery. Take care a I'll see you next Tuesday.