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Stacy Yardley [: 00:00:09

Well, here we are. It's day 1 of Circus life, and I'm heading to the arena today to start building the show with my new circus family. Join me as I share with you the adventure as it unfolds and the major obstacle I was faced with right out of the gate. After that, we'll talk about what happens when you face those obstacles and things get hard as you're pursuing your dream, and how self compassion can help make it a little easier. Are you ready? Let's go. Welcome to Life is a circus. So let's step into self mastery, where we explore the balancing act of unlocking your inner potential while navigating life's chaos. I'm Stacy Yardley, your host, a former circus showgirl turned transformational life coach.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:01:02

If you're juggling multiple roles or responsibilities and feeling like life is a circus, you are in the right place. Join me each week for captivating tales from my circus days and insights on realizing your dreams. Whether you're entrepreneur, business owner, or an aspiring leader, this podcast is your guide to self mastery. So grab your top hat, and let's step into the greatest show of all, the circus of life. Ready to embark on this transformative journey together? Let's begin. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:01:46

I was startled awake by the blaring sound of the alarm clock going off, and I quickly sat up, hit the off button, got out of bed, and immediately got dressed. My roommate, Nicole, had slipped out while I was still sleeping, and I was too anxious to eat anything for a. So I headed out the door to get on to the circus bus, along with other circus performers and showgirls. It was our 1st day of the 6 weeks we'd be spending a together the new show for the 1989 90 season, and I had no idea what was ahead of me or what to expect. As we arrived, I walked into the arena, and I was in awe of the sights and smells of this old building where dreams came alive. The aroma of old wood and sawdust filled the air, and the three rings were set up with metal rigging above and around it that held various lighting, trapeze, and spongy ropes called the Spanish web. As I scanned the setup, I noticed that the high wire was also set up, and the clown props were in one area and elephant a that the elephants would stand on in another. The seats in the stands were metal with plastic covered cushions, and all the interior walls were made of wood with beams throughout.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:03:00

I stood there for a moment just taking it all in and felt a sense of wonder about the history of this building and the stories it contained. It didn't take long before the performance director called everyone to attention and announced the schedule for the day. All the showgirls were told to head over to ring 1 where they would begin teaching us how to use the Spanish web. The Spanish web is an apparatus resembling a vertical hanging rope. There was a loop attached to the rope for your hand or foot to slip through and a leather strap to tighten it down. This loop was considered the safety. It was supposed to help us so we wouldn't fall out while doing aerial tricks 30 feet up in the air. For a dancer like me, without any gymnastics experience, I didn't have much upper body strength, so I was terrified to say the least.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:03:51

The day was long, and I quickly realized I had a lot of work to do. I began questioning if I was really cut out for this as I reflected on the day while journaling later that evening. My body hurts so bad. I never thought it'd be like this. They started rehearsing pretty much right away today. They started us on the web. It's basically climbing ropes and doing tricks on them, such as paces, turns, spins, splits, everything. It really hurt my hand.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:04:25

Well, my wrist, so bad, I had to stop. I did okay when I started to Life, not too bad anyway. Then a I got up there, I guess I just tensed up, and it was really hard to hold on. I guess I'll just have to start working out so I can do stuff like that. My arms are pretty sore already, and I know this hasn't yet begun. I'm so tired. It just drained all my energy. They told us that this year and next is a tribute to Gunther Gable Williams, So I guess it's gonna be pretty good.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:02

So, anyway, after the web, we went to lunch and then came back, and I learned a really cool dance routine, but we were told it's not going to be in the show. Oh, well. Tomorrow is supposed to be a killer. All morning, we're doing web. I sure hope I can hack it. I feel like such a baby, but, damn, it hurts. The girls told me you get big calluses on your wrists and ankles, and sometimes when you start, it will sometimes bleed. Mine probably will.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:31

If they don't, I'll be shocked. They hurt so bad. It's indescribable. We also got fitted for our skirts with a petticoat and such that goes over them, I guess. They'll be pretty. It's for opening. My web setter's name is Valentin. Oh, and a web setter is a guy who helps us during the web routine by hoisting us up to grab the rope as we climb to do the tricks in the air.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:57

The setter holds the rope and maneuvers and turns the rope around while we do various tricks. At the end of the routine, they're supposed to spin us pretty fast as we hold onto the web with our hands while in a split position and one ankle in the safety loop. There's no net or crash pad below us while we're doing our web act. It's just our setter who is spotting us that would have to catch us if we fall. Valentin is a teeter board act, so I feel pretty confident he would catch me if I fell. The teeter board is an aerobic apparatus that resembles a playground seesaw, and the performers do tricks, like jumping from one end of the board to another or launching each other from one board to another or sometimes landing on top of each other's shoulders. They would build a totems during their act and stack up Life 5 or 6 people high. Anyway, as far as I could see, he's pretty nice.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:06:55

He's not bad looking either. There's a few good looking ones around, I noticed. I'm trying really hard to learn names, and I still can't get them all. I guess I should start taking it easy on myself. I think I'm too hard on myself. I mean, it's only the a day. Things should get better, I hope. No.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:07:16

I shouldn't talk like that. I'm going to say they will. Things really are going to get better. We'll see. The next day was filled with even more developments as we began to learn more about our role as a showgirl. Being only 2 days in, I was already beginning to realize that this was going to be a lot of hard work, long days, and little tolerance for slacking off or a, not to mention lots of potential for drama to unfold. Today, I would say it went a little bit better. Let me tell you from the beginning.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:07:52

I woke up, prayed, and got ready to go. Got on the 8:30 AM bus and went over to the arena where the rehearsals are. Then the choreographers at 9 AM took us into the rehearsal hall a we did warm up. Stephanie and Ray, the choreographers, told us we'd do this every day. I'm stoked about that because it helps a lot. Then we went out on the floor and met with our web setters. A told me he's never set before. I was okay until it was my turn.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:08:23

I felt really weak today. My arms just felt like they were going to give out. A did help me, though. We went on one of those new webs, and it felt pretty good. I felt like I climbed it a lot easier. Maybe it was just the way he pushed me up or the way he held the rope, or it was just because not everyone, including my instructor, was watching. But then I climbed down and got on one of the other webs and tried once more to do the wrist thing, and I couldn't. It hurts so bad.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:08:58

I did okay and was able to do the posse trick, but then it really started to hurt my wrist. I got a few marks on it too, and I have a feeling it may even bleed. I don't know why it kills so bad, but it does. And they say it gets worse, which will probably happen tomorrow. And tomorrow, we start having elephant riding practices too. And I'm in group b, and group a rides tomorrow, and group b works on the web. Great. I'm just ecstatic.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:09:28

They only have about 15 elephants. That means 5 of us don't get to ride in menage, just short for menagerie. That's the finale. Naturally, I'm one of them. I still get to learn, though, how to ride in case someone can't do it or whatever. Some of the girls got fitted for their costumes today too. We're going to have slave girls and vestal virgins for speck, which is the large performance right before intermission. That's when Gunther comes out with his tigers.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:10:00

I wanna be a slave girl really bad, but I think I'm gonna end up being a virgin. People wise, things are going okay. So far, all the girls are getting along great. There's a, yeah, but I just try to let it slide right off my shoulders. That's really what you've gotta do around here. Some of the girls get a little worked up, but then they get over it. I hope that that I can continue to just let everything roll off my shoulders. I think being here is going to teach me a lot of morals a a lot of things I take too a.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:10:38

Whining. She said, everybody hates to hear whining. That right there told me, stop whining now, because everybody back home said that I whine too much. Some of my friends even jokingly call me Gallo, as in Gallo Life. So right there, I took that as a message to start watching the way I was acting. Anyway, I should go to sleep now. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. The next day, things continued to unfold.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:11:11

Today actually turned out to be pretty good. We didn't do much again. I got up on Webb only twice, and I was able to hack the pain a little bit more. I think the real problem is just a matter of getting strength. I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow with A and Catherine and some guys. I think that will do me some good. I also got fitted for costumes today. It turns out I am a virgin in the spec routine.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:11:39

It's okay, though. I still like the costume. They're purple and gold and have this awesome cape and a really, really big headpiece. It's going to take some getting used to, but I like them. And our opening costumes have puff sleeves, and the bodysuit is like a bluish sequence. And we have these big metal skirts that are a pain in the ass to walk in. Once we get to our spot on the floor after walking out, we climb out of the skirts and go up over to our webs. It's gonna be hot.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:16

The menage costumes are my favorite. They're gold a bodysuits, well, leotards with high neck and an open low back, and they have little hot pink stars on them. And we also have capes with those that are a hot pink. That's when we ride the elephants in the leotards. Speaking of which, my group has elephant practice tomorrow. Some of the girls did it today, and it scared them really badly. I'm excited, though. I think it's going to be fun.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:50

We still haven't danced yet. The only choreography we know is opening walk. Anyway, things are basically looking okay. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Needless to say, we were only a few days into rehearsals, and I was already feeling the impact of circus life and what chasing this dream would really entail. The obstacle before me in the form of the Spanish web was a big one, and I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me. Like any other dream, oftentimes, we set out on a path with ambition and hopes in our hearts.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:13:25

And as we hold on to the vision of grandeur, not realizing the challenges we may face along the way, it's in those times we must decide. Will I turn back, or will I push past the pain and find out what I'm really made of? Let's go deeper now and talk about this a the dreamer's dilemma. When it comes to the dreamer's dilemma, one thing is for sure. You will be met with obstacles or resistance as you step out to pursue your dream. It can feel more like the dreamer's delusion as you come face to face with your first a, and you wake up to the reality that it may be harder than you thought. In fact, it can make you question yourself and wonder what you even got yourself into. If you've ever gone after a dream, you know exactly what I'm talking about. And perhaps that is what keeps you from pursuing your passion once again because you know it won't be all roses and sunshine.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:14:21

Or maybe you've never gone after your dream because you know it will be hard work, and you'd rather just hold on to the idea of it so that you get to stay comfortable is your status quo and just imagine it rather than actually making it a reality. But the thing is, as I mentioned, when you go after your dreams, you get to find out what you're really made of and what you're actually capable of. As human beings, I believe we're designed to stretch well beyond our basic instincts. And instead of just surviving, we're meant to actually thrive and grow and truly live into our full potential. Learning how to navigate the challenges of life causes you to feel more alive because once you break through the barriers that you're faced with, you realize what you're capable of and how powerful you really are. Every dreamer that has made their dream a reality will tell you that it was hard work at times. And no matter how many dreams you've gone after, each one can be hard because each dream is its own adventure. As I've mentioned before in this podcast, I'm living this very experience right now.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:15:30

When I set out to create this podcast, I was excited, and so were all my friends. And is I mentioned in episode 2, going after our dreams can be vulnerable and hard. But there's another side to it too. It also takes commitment and follow through when it gets hard, and it feels harder than just dreaming. Because I've been on this personal growth path of self mastery for a while, I can confidently say that I've come to know and understand myself in ways I hadn't in the past. And one of the things I've learned is is that I'm a great starter, an action taker, and an activator, but I'm not always a great finisher. And for a dreamer, that can be a double edged sword. I've let myself down a time or 2 bailing out on an endeavor simply because I didn't have the patience or perseverance to follow through when it got hard or boring.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:16:27

And instead, I wanted to go for the dopamine hit. Nevertheless, there have been times I've followed through and seen the results on the other Life, which make it totally worth it. This is what I have to keep reminding myself when it gets hard, to keep going and to be consistent. It's a matter of making the choice to recommit all over again and persevere through the pain and discomfort of pushing past the self imposed limitations. Will there be times when that dream you're stepping is to pursue gets hard? Yes. But we always have the opportunity to use whatever hardship comes our way, to learn more about ourselves and our experience as a human on this planet. We do this by accepting that it may be tough, but we can be tougher by making the courageous choice to persevere. When it comes to making courageous choices in life, perseverance is one of those qualities that will serve us time and time again on the road to self mastery and making our dreams a reality.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:17:34

And the thing about perseverance is we often don't realize how much we need it until we're met with a challenge or resistance that requires it. Then we have to choose to persevere, or is I mentioned earlier, to back out and tap out. But the very definition of perseverance means continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition. I also saw a definition that defined it as persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. What stood out to me in this definition was the last part a the delay in achieving success. In a world where we are continually bombarded with get rich quick or lose weight fast gimmicks and marketing a, combined with our short attention spans in today's modern society, we can very easily fall into the trap of thinking that our dreams should be easy, effortless, and quick to achieve. Or if you have a brain like mine that gets bored quickly, that it should always be fun and exciting, because that's just not the case. You have to courageously choose to persevere, especially when it gets hard.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:18:50

And is always, we choose courageously. That means fear or discomfort will also be present. I met fear face to face as I was handed that rope and was told to climb it. I knew I didn't have the strength or the skill to make it happen, but I wasn't willing to just give up that easily. I knew I had to persevere in order to be able to perform, and you'll hear more about what happens as things got a little bit harder. But for now, it's important to recognize that when reality hits and you're met with opposition or extreme discomfort, that it's during those times when practicing perseverance as a part of self mastery really matters. On the journey to self mastery, there's another key element that I think is important to note here for its power to diffuse the discomfort, and that is self compassion. As defined by doctor Kristin Neff, self compassion is comprised of 3 elements, mindfulness, common humanity, and self kindness.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:19:58

You may recall is my story that there was a moment at the end of the first day when I realized that I was being really hard on myself. It was at that moment that I recognized my self talk and my attitude needed to stay positive if I was going to persevere through the pain of learning this new skill and this new lifestyle. After all, I had never done the Spanish web before, and I was just learning. How could I expect myself to be great at it when I was just getting started? And the same goes for you. When it comes to self mastery and navigating the circus of life or going after your dreams, self compassion is vital as you move through the obstacles that you're faced with. In addition, seeing yourself and understanding where you're at and what you're going through is important as it's part of the mindfulness piece. Acknowledge and witness yourself that things are hard right now, and that's okay. I've found that the higher the expectations we have for ourselves, the more self compassion is needed.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:21:01

Why? Because perfectionism and high expectations go hand in hand and tend to feed off of each other when we pursue greatness. And believe me, as a recovering perfectionist, I totally get it. Knowing this about yourself is also important when it comes to self mastery. So when you find yourself in the struggle and things get hard, I want to invite you to take what Kristen Neff refers to is a general self compassion break. To do this, you simply take a pause, breathe deeply, and tune into yourself to see what's causing you suffering. Remind yourself that you're a, and that this is just part of the human experience to go through difficulties or suffering. Then, lastly, maybe put your hands on your heart or on your abdomen and simply acknowledge yourself a remind yourself that you're a, or maybe that you're doing a great job with whatever it is you're up against. Be kind to yourself, offering yourself some uplifting words, such as I'm here for you, it's okay, or it's going to be okay, or I care about you.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:22:16

When we start something new, pursue a dream, or step into the unknown in some way, it's inevitable that we're going to hit obstacles. And when we come to know ourselves, we can then begin to understand the ways in which we need to tend to ourselves in the way of compassion. And we can put an end to the suffering by offering ourselves compassion as a way of stepping out of self sabotage and into self mastery. This week, I want to invite you to look for opportunities to offer yourself some compassion. Are you feeling more stressed than usual, or are the pressures of life causing you to want to self sabotage your efforts when it comes to pursuing your passion or your dreams? How might pulling in some self compassion for yourself assist you as you continue to move forward? Remember that as we chase our dreams and navigate the circus of life, no one ever said it was going to be easy. But when the hard times come upon us, practicing self compassion and giving ourselves some love can help us through the hard stuff along the way. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Life is a Circus, so let's step into self mastery. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to carry with you on your journey.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:23:35

If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend and subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. Remember, in the circus of life, the greatest show is the one you create for yourself. Until next time, keep embracing your dreams and stepping into self mastery. Take care and I'll see you next Tuesday.