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Stacy Yardley [: 00:00:10

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the circus of life? Like no matter how hard you try, you just keep spinning your wheels and feel like you're about to snap? If so, today's episode is going to offer you some insight on what you can do to step out of overwhelm and into self mastery and what it really means to practice self care. But first, I'll share what life was like for me as the circus hit the road and I was finally living my dream. Are you ready? Let's dive in. Welcome to life as a circus. So let's step into self mastery, where we explore the balancing act of unlocking your inner potential while navigating life's chaos. I'm Stacy Yardley, your host, a former circus showgirl turned transformational life coach. If you're juggling multiple roles or responsibilities and feeling like life is a circus, you are in the right place. Join me each week for captivating tales from my circus days and insights on realizing your dreams.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:01:19

Whether you're an entrepreneur, business owner, or an aspiring leader, this podcast is your guide to self mastery. So grab your top hat and let's step into the greatest show of all, the circus of life. Ready to embark on this transformative journey together? Let's begin. It was the start of a new year, and after a month of rehearsals, creating and building the Gunther Gable Williams farewell tour, the show was officially underway. We started the tour in Tampa, Florida, and life on the road was in full swing. Moving through heartbreak as a love affair was coming to an end, I found myself struggling to find inner peace, feeling used and thrown aside, knowing I had nowhere to go to get away from it all. Because as circus performers, we all lived and worked together. I did my best to work through the intense emotions of shame, jealousy, and bitterness, all while feeling a sense of deep sorrow and sadness.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:02:21

It was pretty rough on an emotional level. At one point, others began to notice my depressed state and did their best to try to cheer me up, reminding me that I was mature for how I was handling things and that I was not wrong for the way that I felt. I found comfort in friendships that I had formed and often made calls to the friends I had back home to help cheer me up. Life on the road is not an easy one. You have to adapt to an environment that is dynamic and constantly changing, and when you're going through some stuff on an emotional level, it can be pretty overwhelming. There was a moment when I realized that I needed to snap out of it. I came to an awareness that I was giving my power away to a man who didn't care about me, and by holding on so tightly when it was clear that he had long moved on, it was making it so much worse. I was focusing more on the problem rather than finding a solution, and that needed to stop.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:03:19

The shift began to happen when I started to realize that I needed to get present and focus more on me and less on him. And as much as I wanted to be loved, I also wanted to enjoy this experience on both a professional and a personal level. Here I was, about to turn 19 years old, and I was living my dream of being a professional dancer as a circus showgirl. It was a once in a lifetime experience. I was living on a circus train and having fun at a job that felt more like play than work. As we began to travel from town to town, often referred to as going overland, I was so excited to see parts of the country I had never seen before, all from the vestibule of the train. There was even a moment when I journaled about going through Georgia and watching three little children run alongside the train from their backyard, waving at us, trying to catch up. It was surreal at times, and I felt like I was in a movie.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:04:17

I'd spend time visiting with other performers in their rooms during the train runs, listening to stories told from circus veterans, and at times I'd slip into destructive behavior of drinking and partying to try to numb the pain that I was still feeling and trying to move through emotionally. I would vacillate between the highs of performing in front of captivated crowds and getting to interact with my elephant backstage, to feeling the lows of personal rejection and self betrayal that came with the lack of personal boundaries. What I needed most was more self care and more self mastery, because without these, I'd continue to spiral out of control and suffer some serious consequences as a result. And you'll come to learn is exactly what happened. As I mentioned, there were moments when I had the self awareness that I needed to clean some things up. So I continued to journal my way through my emotions, and I even started listening to a self hypnosis cassette tape for happiness. While I didn't have the understanding then that I have now when it comes to self mastery, I was making attempts to bettering myself in an effort to move on and make a better way moving forward as life on the road continued to unfold, I'd like to transition now and talk about the topic of self care and why it's so important and how it can lead us into the awareness needed for self mastery. It's important to note that self care and self mastery are deeply intertwined concepts that play crucial roles in personal development and your overall wellbeing.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:05:57

Both are necessary if we want to feel more centered, grounded and calm amidst the circus of life. Let's break down each concept now and then, explore how they relate to and support each other. When it comes to self care, I think it's important that we recognize it's about so much more than taking a much needed day off, getting a pedicure or taking a bubble bath. Yes, those things are activities that contribute to self care, but it's about so much more than that. In my opinion, self care needs to be something that you embody rather than just a task you check off on your to do list. By definition, self care refers to the practices and activities individuals engage in to maintain and improve their physical, emotional and mental health. In other words, it's how well you are caring for yourself. In my coaching practice, I often encourage my clients to look at their self care practices in a holistic way and I check in with them regularly to ensure that it's top of mind since this is so often an area that can go by the wayside without us even realizing it.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:07:08

This is especially true for those of us who are juggling multiple roles and responsibilities alongside running a business or striving to climb the corporate ladder. So let's take a closer look at the three key aspects of self care in a holistic way, starting with physical self care. This can include exercising regularly. So what does this look like for you? Are you moving your body in a way that supports you? A word of caution when it comes to exercise. While so many are lacking in this area and need to pick it up, there is the opposite end of the spectrum as well when it comes to exercising in the form of pushing your body too hard, it's important to remember that exercise in the name of self care can sometimes cross over into the danger zone and become self abuse if you over exercise or go too hard, which can cause injury or even burnout. So be mindful and move your body in a way that supports it rather than breaks it down and allow time for proper recovery. Next is maintaining a balanced diet. This is an area that's very important when it comes to physical self care and when I say a balanced diet, I mean eating whole foods and getting adequate amounts of protein, complex carbohydrates and healthy fats.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:08:31

This means eliminating or minimizing highly processed foods whenever possible as these foods can actually add to the stress due to the chemical reactions in your brain and your body. When it comes to food and self care. One area I see a lot of women struggle in is skipping meals because they're trying to do it all and they just don't have time to eat. A just like over exercising or going too hard can be harmful. So can skipping meals. In fact, in case you didn't know, skipping meals impacts blood sugar levels and your nervous system, and it can easily trigger anxiety. If you're someone who pushes yourself to finish that project or work through lunch in order to make up some time, you're ultimately doing yourself more harm than good. So please don't do this to yourself.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:09:24

Take a moment and eat. Another area of physical self care is ensuring that you get enough adequate sleep. This one is pretty self explanatory, and yet again, so many women I see sacrifice sleep in order to get things done. If you're not prioritizing your sleeping habits, in my opinion, this needs to take priority. Your body needs a chance to clean up the internal trash and reset itself, and it does this during the sleep cycle. If you're not getting enough quality sleep, it can and does impact every other area of your life and your health, whether you currently feel its effects or not. Lastly, another area in the physical self care department is attending regular medical checkups. This is an area that is often overlooked until it becomes a necessity.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:10:18

Personally, I'm really big on naturopathic health, so for me, this looks like regular acupuncture or chiropractic appointments as a way of assisting my system in maintaining good health. Next in the three areas of self care is emotional self care. This can include engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation. If this one is tough for you, I understand when you've got a lot going on. Slowing down can seem counterintuitive, but it's important I see this a lot. Again, with entrepreneurs that tend to overwork and overstretch themselves, often due to the need to keep their business running. Just remember, play is a gateway to more inner peace as it helps to regulate your nervous system, which ultimately helps energize you and can help you feel more productive in the long run. Another aspect of emotional self care is practicing mindfulness and meditation.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:11:18

I could do a whole episode on the importance of mindfulness, and I will. But for now, it's important to know that checking in with yourself is key. Are you present on a regular basis or are you absent as you check out, worrying about all the things you have to get done that are on your to do list? Maintaining healthy boundaries and relationships is also a part of emotional self care. I talk about boundaries in episode nine, so for more on this, check out that episode and just know that boundaries are very much a part of self care for so many reasons. Additionally, when it comes to caring for yourself on an emotional level, seeking therapy, counseling or coaching when needed is critical. Knowing when to ask for help and getting it is a powerful way to care for yourself in the emotional area. And lastly, there's the mental self care. Do you stimulate your mind through reading, learning or solving puzzles? Making sure that you're staying sharp mentally is an important part of mental health and self care.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:12:25

Remember to take breaks to avoid burnout. Again, this one deserves it's own episode in full, but when it comes to practicing good self care, taking breaks is vital. This can be as simple as taking a five minute walk around the block or stepping away from your computer, getting a cold glass of water and just taking a moment to breathe. Another element that is important to mental self care is practicing positive thinking and self reflection. Studies show that practicing positive thinking increases one's level of happiness, and practicing self reflection plays a big role in self awareness, which of course is vital to self mastery. You can start to see how these elements of self care can and do influence one's ability for self mastery in several ways. Finally, limiting exposure to negative influences or stressors is so important, especially when it comes to what you watched, listen to and read again. This can fall into the boundaries category, but is vital for your mental health and your well being.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:13:36

Social media comes to mind in this area. Setting limits for yourself can really help when it comes to mental wellbeing. As I mentioned earlier, these elements of self care can and do directly impact your ability to practice self mastery. If you're someone who feels like they're on the struggle bus or you're feeling overwhelmed, it's going to be very difficult to stretch and grow in self mastery because your body and your nervous system are in a survival state. This is why when self care seems the hardest to implement, it's the most important thing to address before trying to do more in your business or your life in general. Let's briefly look at the definition and key components of self mastery to give you a better understanding of some basics on this topic. By definition, self mastery is the ability to control one's emotions, thoughts and actions. It involves self discipline, self awareness, and the pursuit of personal growth and improvement.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:14:36

I like to say it's one's ability to master their own ego in such a way that you are consciously moving through your experiences in this life, rather than allowing your unconscious or subconscious mind to call the shots. Which, by the way, is what happens when you go into self sabotage. There's a lot to cover when it comes to self mastery, which is why I've dedicated this entire podcast to the topic. But for time's sake, let's just look at a few of the basic key components of self mastery, noting that this is not an all inclusive list. Number one is self discipline. When it comes to self discipline, if you're not holding yourself accountable, you're most likely going to self sabotage because your brain is always working to keep you safe and comfortable. You've got to be disciplined when it comes to developing yourself personally and professionally if you want to make any progress. Some aspects of self discipline include setting and adhering to personal goals, consistency in following through with commitments, and managing your time effectively.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:15:39

Number two of self mastery key areas is self awareness. This is another aspect that to me is probably the most important when it comes to stepping into self mastery. Self awareness can look like understanding your personal strengths and weaknesses. It can be recognizing and managing your emotions and being aware of how your actions affect yourself and others. Next is continuous improvement. Seeking feedback and learning from experiences with a growth mindset is vital when it comes to self mastery. Striving for personal and professional growth is another and embracing challenges as opportunities for development. This means focusing more on the solution than the problem that is in front of you.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:16:28

By understanding self care and self mastery, we can begin to see the interplay between them. Self care provides the foundation necessary for self mastery. Without proper care for physical, emotional and mental health, it becomes challenging to achieve self discipline and continuous improvement. Engaging in self care ensures that you have the energy and resilience needed to pursue self mastery. It prevents burnout and promotes sustainable progress, allowing you to go the distance with more vitality and well being. And self care and self mastery contribute to the more balanced and fulfilling life. Self care addresses immediate needs and well being, while self mastery focuses on the long term goals and personal development. So what does this look like on a practical level? Let's talk about that.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:17:19

There are three ways you can begin integrating this information today. First is routine development. As I mentioned earlier, embodiment of self care is so important. This means incorporating self care into daily routines. Doing so can enhance discipline and productivity. Remember, for example, like I said, regular exercise can improve focus and energy levels, aiding in personal and professional tasks. This can be as simple as that 30 minutes walk and making it a non negotiable. This is something I practice myself in the non negotiable 30 minutes walk per day.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:17:58

It's made a world of difference in my daily energy and my ability to handle stress more easily. Second is a mindfulness practice. Practicing mindfulness not only supports emotional and mental self care, but also enhances self awareness, which again, is a key aspect of self mastery. If you're new to mindfulness or meditation, start small. By simply getting present during basic routine activities like washing the dishes or cooking a meal, begin to simply notice how you feel in your body and how you are breathing in the and breathing out. Taking slow mindful breaths. Stay present and thirdly, goal setting. This is an area I think a lot of people have resistance to for various reasons.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:18:47

I have found that many people have never really learned how to set goals properly, so they aren't successful at it, and it causes disappointment or feelings of inadequacy when the goals aren't met. Setting realistic and achievable goals involves understanding one's limits and capabilities, which also requires self awareness and a commitment to self care. This is an area we focus on inside my membership and pure power posse. And if you're interested in learning more about joining, I'll put a link in the show notes for the waitlist by joining that, you'll get updates the next time the doors open for enrollment. Self care and self mastery are not isolated concepts, but rather complementary aspects of personal development. By prioritizing yourself care, you create a strong foundation for pursuing self mastery, leading to a balanced, fulfilling, and successful life. And this can also help prevent self sabotage as you begin to love yourself better as well. So what will you do this week to begin implementing today's episode? Will it be developing a better routine, practicing more mindfulness, or setting up some goals for yourself? Take a moment to choose one and actively begin practicing it today, because when it comes to self mastery, self care matters.

Stacy Yardley [: 00:20:08

Thank you for joining me on this episode of life as a circus. So let's step into self mastery. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to carry with you on your journey. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend and subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. Remember, in the circus of life, life, the greatest show, is the one you create for yourself. Until next time, keep embracing your dreams and stepping into self mastery. Take care and I'll see you next Tuesday.